I’ve got a few things that I need to share with you all, so this will be our third installment of the newsletter.
First things first, after much effort on my part through various methods of bribery, I am sad to tell you that my husbands have utterly refused to sneak back to Earth and retrieve a copy of the second Magic Mike movie when it comes out, which also means we won’t be getting the Hagen Daz Caramel Cone ice cream either….sorry Talia. Apparently Earth being a “restricted planet” is kinda a big deal. Whatevs. I tried to point out that it wasn’t such a big deal that we all didn’t get our asses kidnapped! But I’ve been told in a nutshell that two wrongs don’t make a right or some such crap. Obviously they haven’t seen the first Magic Mike…..it makes a lot of things right 😉
Moving on, there are a couple of you who have been previously “talked to” about fondling various other species unusual body appendages whenever you see them– please stop. I understand that it may seem funny to you at the time, but many species do not seem to be “getting” our humour, and come on, you’re making us Earthers all look like backwater hillbillies who’ve never been out of the solar system before! …..which, yes, I know we haven’t. But gosh ladies, have some manners! Plus, instigation of familiar touch is a declaration of intent to court for many species, so you may just be getting more than you bargained for next time you think its funny to reach out and touch someone’s tentacles.
Lastly, to the very funny person(s) who anonymously sent the baby rattle to my husbands….. that was so NOT funny! It took me almost three days to make them believe me that I wasn’t knocked up. Then the rest of the week was spent trying cheer them up from their disappointment. I’m still not walking quite right.
I WILL find out who you are! and when I do you’d better watch out, I have an entire ship full of minions to cater to my every whim….and hacking into the spa reservation system to re-book you for a full body wax would be child’s play for these guys! So be very afraid bitches!
Lots of love,
Eve’s Rescue is with the publisher and has a tentative release date for June, so soon you’ll be able to meet the saucy wench who’s been put in charge of the Coalition Mates Newsletter! I will also post the cover art once it comes through, so thank you for reading and I’ll talk soon!