Echoes of Life (a Raven’s Awakening poem)

I find poetry a great way to climb into a new character’s mind, and Raven’s Awakening is a WIP I have that is quite different from the rest of my books. It’s much darker, more intense. Raven’s punishment for deeds done in a past life gives her a rather dark perspective… 

Echoes of Life
(Raven’s Awakening)

 

I spend every day of my life pretending to be okay,
pretending to be normal.
I play the role of a lifetime, acting as though I’m not empty inside.
As though I don’t have an abyss in my chest where my heart is supposed to be.
As if my soul isn’t utterly broken.

I smile. I laugh.
I go home and try to breathe as the memory of what another’s skin against my own feels like, beats at me relentlessly, like the waves on an angry shore.

This is my life.
How can I not question why I even go on?
Even my vast imagination, which can conjure things in my dreams that would rival any fiction, can’t imagine such a foreign ideal as finding happiness.

I am forever alone. I am other.
I’ve heard it said that you can die from a broken heart, but what if you were born with a broken heart?
Were you ever really alive to begin with?

Regardless, I do not fear death, for it certainly couldn’t be more painful than life.
The horrors of life have inoculated me to the terrors of death.
Am I to be pitied or envied?

-Sarah Marsh

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To the mistakes of my past

 

To the one who didn’t let me in,

You taught me not to settle for less than I’d always dreamed about.

To the one who thought only of himself,

You taught me that being a decent person is thinking of others even if it means giving up what you want.

To the one who didn’t know what the truth was,

You taught me to follow my instincts no matter what my head argued.

To the one who didn’t know what fidelity was,

You taught me that no matter what, I would never become as careless with others as you were.

To the one who simply didn’t see me,

You taught me to take a closer look and make certain I didn’t miss anything that someone had to offer.

All the pain and mistakes of the past have created the person I am today.

The depth and endurance of sadness and regret in our pasts, teaches us what real love should and can be, it teaches us humility and empathy.

I cannot regret the way others have treated me in my past, those regrets should be theirs and theirs alone.

-Sarah Marsh

ocean-woman

Mad Love

Mad Love

I have no use for a love filled with sweet words and chivalrous gestures.

Love should be madness. It should be breathtaking. It should be glorious.

It should be messy. It should be desperate.

Love is too complicated a thing to ever be easy or simple.

If you aren’t willing to fight for it, or give up everything you have just to keep it,

Then you aren’t worthy of it.

It should be incorruptible. It should be endless.

It should be the voice in your head telling you to do better,

And the song in your soul bringing you peace.

-Sarah Marsh

beautiful

A Modern Woman

I am a modern woman, a strong woman.

I pay my own way, I handle my own problems.

But I am still a woman.

I want to be pursued.

I want to be courted.

 

I need to take care of my family and dote on the ones that I love.

But I still want to be desired.

I want to be wanted.

 

I long to be held gently as I fall asleep and loved desperately as I awake.

The emotions that you read in my face at any given moment are only a fraction of what I feel inside my heart.

Pain. Happiness. Desire. Sadness.

 

I will always have moments of perfect clarity and moments of hormonal chaos.

I will need you to pretend like you always understand.

 

I am a woman,

And I am waiting for you.

 

Sweet Release

Sweet Release

I could appreciate the sweetness of his words, and the thoughtfulness of his actions.

But it was his darker attributes that captivated me the most.

They set fire to my imagination and ignited my body in a way nothing else ever had.

His dominance stripped me of every shred of my self-control; remaking me into someone I hadn’t even known had been waiting inside.

Releasing the thoughts and needs that had been buried so deep.

Leaving nothing but a ravenous desire to drop to my knees and submit in every way he would ask of me.

***

I write poetry when new characters are starting to percolate in my mind, I hope you enjoy this one!

Sarah.

The Dichotomy Within

The Dichotomy Within

We all have a dichotomy within.

How can two parts of a whole be so opposing?

 

So casually the heart brushes aside hard won resolutions made by the head.

Betrayal to its host without conscience.

For the heart has no concept of tomorrow or yesterday; it feels only now.

It’s the head that must bear the burden of remembered hurts and guarded futures.

But who is the betrayer, the heart or the head?

Is it caution or disregard which leads to the fall?

Perhaps you know if you’ve met the other half of your soul when the two parts finally align.

 

True love doesn’t love in spite of the rest of the world,

It loves oblivious of the rest of the world.

****

For M.

May you find the path you are looking for.

Darling Girl

Darling Girl

 

One day I hope you will wake up to be.

Instead of being what you think they should see.

 

Never hide the gifts that make you special in an effort to fit in,

For any world where the cost to live is conformity is not a place you will find your happiness.

Existence is not enough; it’s a coward’s wasted opportunity.

 

Without finding true joy and purpose, you may as well be a character in someone else’s story.

Be brave enough to be the woman you are.